So after we discovered the raccoon I looked up some FACTS! on the Internet. It turns out that they like to live in attics because they are warm, dry, and safe. Raccoons also like to poop, which I would expect. I didn't expect that they would poop in their homes, which is our home. I thought they would just live there, like a dog, and instinctively want to poop outside far away from their homes. Nope, they poop their own homes.

Also, interestingly, Raccoons carry this nasty kind of roundworm that can invade humans, burrowing into their brains. That's not a joke. Mishandling Raccoon poop can make you go mental.

Another thing I found out is that raccoons have babies in the late spring or early summer. So, pretty soon. And once a mother has babies, she'll never leave them.

We had to take action.

Step 1: Check if she's still up there. So we pointed a light in the attic and Bogusia spotted the sucker. She's still in there, and she's taken poops because it stinks.

Step 2: Send in the dogs. We tossed Joxer in the attic and he scared her out no problem.

Step 3: Clean the toxic poop. I did that because I've had a longer happier life than Bogusia, so if I die it would be better. She has her whole future ahead of her and I'm just on a decline.

Step 4: Install a light and motion detectors. We have two old portable motion alarms that emit a siren when anything moves. They now protect our attic so when the raccoon wants to come in for a quiet rest after turning over trash cans, she'll be screamed at by the alarms and have a light in her face. Another function of the alarms is that it tells us when to send Joxer into the attic.

Step 5: Dunno yet. The alarms tripped yesterday a couple of times but I don't think the raccoon stayed. If she doesn't get discouraged enough to find a new home then I'll have to take further action. I'm going to try to set up a night vision camera to film where she gets in. I suspect it is a cedar next to our house. Perhaps we could cut it down, electrify it, tie up the dogs next to it, something like that.

We'll see.